Today’s Snapshot

I’ve been waking up a lot in the middle of the night lately. Luckily I didn’t have to work today, so I was able to sleep on and off until I finally caught up on some rest. That was nice.

One unexpected benefit of donating plasma is that it forces me to hydrate and eat enough to meet the requirements. Part of me doesn’t mind that my appetite hasn’t fully been there because I’m losing weight. Another part of me knows that not eating the way I should probably isn’t doing my mental health any favors.

I’m still on edge today.

I can’t really pin down what’s causing so much anxiety, but I’ve been able to manage it without taking any medication, which feels like a win. I’d like to be able to say the same thing about drinking once I get home in the afternoons, but I’m not there yet.

I ran out last night and I’m going to try not to buy more. If it’s not in the house, at least I’m not fighting with it every evening.

It’s not even that I think I have a drinking problem.

What scares me is the possibility of one forming.

The fact that I don’t feel fully in control of it.

Although if I’m honest, part of me feels in control and another part doesn’t. Maybe that tension is exactly what worries me.

Anyway, the plan for today is simple.

Get clean. Eat something. Hydrate. Donate plasma.

After that, I need to find a gift for one of my partners. She passed her LMSW exam today, which is a huge accomplishment. I already have an idea of what I’d like to get her, but I’m not sure it’ll be easy to find. If not, I’ll pivot.