Nervous System Overload

I’ve been pretty disoriented for the last week or two.

Looking back, I probably should have started taking my medication sooner than I did, but here we are. I’m not completely back to baseline yet, but the Klonopin has settled whatever was happening inside of me. For the first time in a while, I feel stable again, and I’m incredibly grateful for that.

One of the biggest realizations from all of this is that what I thought was attachment distress was, at least in large part, my nervous system becoming completely overloaded.

I don’t know what started it. It had been going on long enough that whatever the original trigger was had become buried beneath everything that followed. By the end, everything was setting off alarms inside of me.

Yesterday’s therapy session was the first one in a while where I could actually stay present. I could speak. I could remember what we were talking about long enough to respond. I could hold onto my own thoughts long enough to form a sentence. I could participate instead of just trying to make it through the hour.

It’s been a ride.

I’m grateful it finally feels like it’s easing.

My brain still feels a little fried, so I’m struggling to put words to the experience. But I wanted to share it because sometimes what feels like a psychological problem is also a nervous system problem. When your system is overwhelmed, everything can start to feel confusing and overwhelming, even the things that normally wouldn’t.

I’m hopeful that this is the beginning of getting back to myself.