A Safer Place to Set Things Down

My session went really well today.

Last night, my best friend and I were talking, and I told him there were things I needed to talk to my therapist about, but probably wouldn’t. I didn’t feel ready. Or brave. Or something like that.

This morning he messaged me one sentence:

TALK ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.

It landed exactly when it needed to.

So today, I did.

I opened up about some things in my life that have been causing me a lot of distress, things I’ve been carrying quietly, with more shame than I realized. She really took everything in. No rushing. No minimizing. Just listening, and helping me see myself with a little more kindness than I’ve been able to offer on my own.

What mattered most is that she’s using what I shared as information, information to help her understand what might come up for me when my attachment starts to form with her. Knowing that makes me feel safer than I usually do. Like there’s a map being drawn together, instead of me falling into something unknown alone.

I’m still terrified, though.

Terrified of how safe I feel with her.

But I think that’s just part of the territory. Safety has never been neutral for me. It comes with vulnerability. With risk. With the fear of being misunderstood.

Still, today is a good day.

And I’m really glad I’m not holding all of this by myself anymore.