Hurting

I’m experiencing a lot of distress right now, and I’m not sure why.

My session wasn’t anything deep.

I know I need to talk to her about the pain my attachment system is causing me, but idk how and idk that it would help.

I’m trying to remind myself this is part of therapy, and that hopefully if I do enough work, this pain will subside. But I’m scared it won’t, and honestly it’s making it really hard not to pull away.

I know that one of the main problems is that I don’t have anyone in my life I feel connected to, and I need to build a support system, but I don’t know how to.

I hate feeling this isolated while also not being able to stop isolating. And the amount of pain, it hurts in a way I don’t have words for. I’m not really sure what’s going on. All that I know is I feel lost, alone and like I’m suffocating.

I’m trying to stay grounded, because I know this pain has a way of deciding things for me. Like finding reasons to leave. I don’t want that. I just want help.